To explain:  A year ago I was asked to give the sermon at my church.  I felt like this was a huge deal and I just came across it and feel like it still has the same meaning and message as a year ago. Enjoy.

Almost a week and a half ago I was asked to give the sermon today.  I was thrilled and nervous at the same time and I figured I would find something to say that could help people… I figured.  I brainstormed and researched and followed the writing process like none other. All the while I was ignoring what was really on my mind. I pushed away what I was dealing with in order to find something that I thought would be perceived as something better to talk about.  Eventually I just came up with a crowd pleaser that would undoubtedly be relatable and would most likely help people, if only by comforting them.   Then my insides took over, ashamed that I had chosen to sell-out, if you will, by not sharing my inner self with people who have supported me so much.   I felt like I would be contradicting what I believed I should write about.

The crowd pleaser idea was to write about how we shouldn’t ignore little ways of helping other people while chasing after what is sure to get attention and praise.  My opening line was “each day is laced with little opportunities to improve”.

I was going to shout all about how we should see where we can help and do just that.  I wanted to impress upon you that I felt it isn’t any better to donate a million dollars to a charity, build a house for the homeless or start a Bible Study Group than it is to shovel your neighbor’s sidewalk, spend some time with a friend who you know would be grateful for some company, or offer to help someone who wouldn’t normally ask for help but would appreciate it just the same.

I wanted to prove that you don’t have to be in a charity minded setting to give comfort to someone.  For instance, I was working last Saturday and made a new friend.  It wasn’t my first time working there by any means but I had never really met this person before.  His name was Bill. He was going to go out on a delivery and needed someone to shut and lock the door behind him. He said to give him about a 15 minute head start.  As I was walking to the door fifteen minutes later I saw him in the doorway making motions with his hands. I figured there was someone outside and he was showing how to do something? Anyway, I get closer and I can hear music playing-awesome rock music playing.

I said “hello” and he turned around and said, “Oh, hi! Awh, sorry, I’m just rocking out here… I just- I just can’t believe I get can this station! It’s 102.5 and it’s out of Duluth, but 102.9 usually blankets this station. But in this truck, it comes in clear as a bell!’

He paused and listened, then he spoke,” Man! Do you hear that? It’s amazing! This guy is insane on the guitar!”

Apparently, the hand motions I had seen earlier were that of a professional air rocker.  This particular air rocker was tearing up the drums- big time.

“I’m sorry,” he said,” I don’t think we’ve actually met before. What’s your name?”

He reached out to shake my hand as I said, “I’m Kate.”

Still shaking my hand he said, “Well, hi, Kate. My name is Bill.”

We ended up talking about music, pausing ever so often to listen to a SICK guitar riff or an INSANE drum solo.  He asked me if I even liked this kind of music and I told him ‘of course!’.

He asked me about my favorite bands and he told me bands I should listen to as well.  Then he seemed confused and asked me how old I was, like there was an age limit to this kind of music. I just smiled and said I was eighteen. He asked me about school and I said that I was in college and that as a matter of fact I was majoring in Music.

This blew Bill away. He was SO excited. He thought it was the coolest thing, almost more than I do, it seemed. I told him that I sing and then he told me more bands to listen to that more vocally-minded. Then he asked me what I was going to do with a degree in Music. And it was SO awesome because he didn’t just assume that I was going to teach, as if teaching is the only thing one could do with a Music degree. I told him that I was sort of on two paths right now. One track is to become a producer and work in a studio or work for a label and maybe have my own someday. The other was to become a pastor.

I honestly thought my good friend, Bill, should take a seat because he was SO enthusiastic about everything I had just said. Like he was my biggest fan just by being given a brief description of what I was thinking. After I mentioned I might want to be a pastor he asked if I like Christian music and I said ‘yeah’.  He offered to give me some old Christian albums because, and he said this in a hushed voice with a more normal level of excitement, that he simply just didn’t know what to think anymore about God. Bill said his reasoning for this was he had to watch his mom die from cancer and the tsunami a couple of years ago that happened in the Indian Ocean really made him wonder.

I told him that I understood what he was saying and told him when the tsunami happened I had confirmation classes and that I remember being asked hard questions like “How could God let this happen?” and “Does God even care anymore?”.

Then he shared that his brother is kind of questioning the same thing but that his brother was a professor.  He said this last part as if he was defeated. He alluded to feeling like he never had a chance to do something with his life or that he was not the type of person that could. I tried to console him by asking him if he had any dreams. He said he’d be perfectly happy to have a little house in the middle of the woods. I asked him what he was waiting for and he kind of shrugged it off.

I told him that I believed that as long as you have a dream and you keep working towards it you have just as much purpose as the next guy. And even if you have smaller dreams and achieve those dreams, you still are great. You just have to dream what you could be and prove that you are able.

I could tell that he took this to heart. He told me that it really has been great talking with me and that he’d like to talk again sometime if that was alright. He said that he wished me well and hopes that I achieve all that I seek to obtain.

I thanked him and I told him how I hope it all works out for him and that I wanted to tell him a quote that I had found that could pertain to him, or maybe help. It was this: Religion is a guy sitting in church thinking about fishing. Spirituality is a guy out fishing thinking about God. I told him that I think God can’t tell the difference in your prayers if you are praying in a church or where you feel most comfortable talking to him. He listens with just as much intent.

He paused and restated what I had just said. Then he smiled and said that he was going to tell his brother and how much that makes sense. He said he still had questions but that kind of got him thinking more.

Eventually he left to deliver the order and I went back to my job, too. I was grateful for our talk and I didn’t realize until hindsight that he could have been a reflection of myself. This is when I realized that I couldn’t just talk about Bill today. I had to share how Bill helped me see my own dreams and fears at a different angle.

Currently I am working towards a B.A. in Music. I have dreams and I have realities that I think about everyday and they seem to battle each other quite a lot. When I graduated I was so sure that I wanted to study music and that whatever I decide to choose as a career, I could start with a music degree.

I wasn’t alone in being sure either. A lot of my close friends had a plan, too.   Most of us bypassed the Undecided major and headed right for our specific dreams. Then somewhere between the courses and the daily reminder that we chose to do this, doubts arose. Questions enveloped our thinking and it seemed we were alone in second-guessing.

However, when we all hung out together over Fall Break, guards were let down and the burning reality of it all shone through. Frustrations of being indecisive and motivated at the same time got the best of us and we talked. We shared in laughing, venting, questioning, joking and possible rebelling.

We are so young. I really believe that we can do good and do it well, but we just need something to assure us that we are on the right paths. The regulations and deadlines and requirements can sometimes cloud the true meaning of who we want to be. The sparkle of our dreams are easily tarnished and re-polished many times over. We have the time to think about what we can do with our lives but we cannot stop for long, otherwise we might gain time to be told ‘no’ and actually believe it.

I believe that my gut instincts and God converse daily about what’s going on in my life. I feel the two are connected and that if I just think to listen, I will be okay and I’ll have a little more guidance than if I just tried to go it alone.

Also, I don’t believe that once you get wrinkles you should just settle for what you have and should stop dreaming. No. The best guidance I have gotten is mostly from people with wrinkles. They know their stuff and most have the patience to see themselves in you and to care about you and what you could become.

But I guess I had some truth in thinking that each day is laced with little opportunities to improve. Not just improve for yourself, your image, your loved ones, but for God, too. You don’t have to impress God by doing flashy random acts of kindness; the run-of-the-mill acts of kindness will do just as much good.