The thoughts of a ponderous soul.
When the staleness of a past argument is left in your mouth, nothing tastes right. Nothing feels right either. Things you once used to enjoy are laced with a frown, pulling at your smiles. Words spoken or unspoken keep you from progressing anywhere back to “normal” or forward. Why can’t a friendship be stronger than [...]
I can hear the upset and hushed voices from the other room. My ears are burning as one voice tries to protect the respect of my choice while another depletes my name of any worth. Do they know I can hear them? Surely, they must realize voices, even those slicked with gossip, travel down hallways [...]
When I write, I need to not be worried about the thoughts that others might misconstrue. I will try to be sensitive to other people’s souls and well-being, but I have to be aware that if I consistently cut out material, my story will have no meaning. It will be unrelatable because the characters will [...]
I don’t understand. Many times I have felt confused but understood why I was confused. Now, I’m just plain con-fucking-fused and bewildered of my parents. It’s times like these where I wonder if it really mattered if I refrained from getting my nose pierced. I did a lot of research and spent a lot of [...]
It has come to my attention recently that I have made this blog out to be a “hater” blog. Even though this seems to be a connecting theme, I honestly didn’t realize this until it was said to me. It makes sense, though, that I would have angered emotions being the largest producer of my [...]
I can’t hold my breath any longer. I can’t tenderize my words and fake my smile in the absence of a nasty quip. Whatever assumptions you may have about me — whatever delusional ideas you insist describe me — you’re wrong. After spitting out curses and unforgiving traits I feel like I need to settle [...]
I was really hurt this morning. I didn’t know what to think about last night — how we all had things we wanted to say, but strangely the “silent ones” spoke first — and loudly. Last night I was not silent. I snapped my words in a sharp tongue that was stronger than I anticipated. [...]
So many questions are buzzing around behind my eyes. I don’t know if I’m in any particular place to understand the recent attacks on my behavior. I don’t understand what I did wrong. I don’t understand how this is becoming a pattern. And I definitely can’t see the meaning behind any of this.
November 8, 2009
Kate
